Found this while sorting out some files... hahaha. Didn't remember writing it, but it reminds me of how fertile my imagination really is..... =P
Wild thought: the chicken or the egg came first?
Whichever school of thought you belong to let me provide u an alternate argument.
A long long time ago before the time of men there was an alien species called the hen, who achieved a level of scientific achievement so advanced that humans could never hope to match. they came from planet cockadoodledoo (i'd explain it later)...
in year xxxxBC that planet was overcrowding. the world government made the unpopular decision to deport some chickens since mass slaughter of chickens by chickens was outlawed by its very own constitution...
hence a general called kentucky was told to pick the planet's dumbest chickens and tell them they were going for a holiday. now, these weren't ordinary chicken we see in our backyards. the 'normal' chickens of cockadoodledoo were super smart and above all, they flew. Given rising oil prices the government could not afford to pay for public transport, so chickens who can't fly were naturally a burden. but as i said, the chicken rights act disallowed the slaughter of chickens by other chickens.
so fast forward, kentucky shortlisted a group of about 100,000 chicks who couldn't fly and told them he was taking them on a holiday. And no prizes for guessing where they went.
on the plane however kentucky couldn't resist the seductions of the chickens and slept with a few chicks. Secretly hoping their offspring could fly one of the chicks who slept with kentucky, who was called "fry" for her pint size, put one of her eggs under kentucky while he slept. so they came, kentucky set up a small settlement and all the chicks had a nice and warm holiday in a group of islands they dubbed macdonalds (the carribean) . a while after that,kentucky and his crew simply flew off, and since the chicks couldn't fly naturally they were stranded on planet earth.
Naturally they were heartbroken and quite lost. Being normal hens they couldn't produce more chicken, meaning they would all die once they ate up all the worms at macdonalds (what we call fries now). until fry remembered the egg she allowed kentucky to fertilize. she took it out and everyone viewed it as their only source of hope for survival. They missed their home planet, which happened to be glowing orange in color. Hence when they saw the sun rise at dawn they screamed its name, hoping to attract enough attention to get back to their homeland.
So they waited and waited. Took turns to incubate the egg. One day a nameless hen who had very bad memory was sitting on the egg, when the first cracks showed on the shell. At first they slapped and abused her for presumably cracking the egg (and killing off their hopes) but the next day they checked the egg to find only the shell! nothing inside. not even egg yolk. so the damned thing could fly. They were overjoyed! finally a chicken (hopefully male) offspring who could fly...
After weeks of searching they found it, and no doubt it was male, for it had a red tab (it didn't write levis) on its crown. Overjoyed, they named him after his true heritage, and credited the nameless hen (who died of her injuries) by putting her name there. Hence, this small little baby was called Kentucky Fry Chicken (KFC).
Pampered it they did, fed it with lots of prime worms and showered it with a lot of care. Once it got to an acceptable age (acceptable enough to *ahem*) only a few of the younger chicks could actually lay eggs...
Suffice to say it caught up with lost time.
By the time the oldest of the chicks died, macdonalds was brimming with chickens. sadly, none of them could fly. KFC grew up to a mature age by then, and began to question why he was the only one he could fly. One of the smarter chickens who got dumped cause she couldn't fly told him the long story of their exile. Angry, he vowed to fry all the chickens capable of flying (except himself)
So he flew and flew and flew, past light years of nothingness to the planet of cockadoodledoo. Once he got there, he did not find an advanced chicken settlement or anything like it. The place was desolate... he was puzzled. The chickens here seemed to have lost the ability to fly. So he asked a chicken soldier who was slumped against the wall... "what happened here?"
The soldier appeared to suffer from a mortally fatal burn wound.
"the grand general kentucky... he... he... fried the whole lot of the army for treason. He went mad! I am one of the few survivors... but cockadoodledoo was so cramped disease was rampant... the shamans call it flu, and as yet we have no cure for it... Kentucky apparently caused the disease too... I.. I.." with that, the soldier died.
KFC was very angry, so he decided to murder Kentucky. So he stormed the chicken barracks (which was guarded by half-dead troops) and easily got to kentucky's office.
inside he saw, to his horror, a chicken which has an identical red tab to him (lets assume red tabs are hereditary and look more or less the same for roosters)
Kentucky was an old and frail chicken by then. Looking at the sight before him, he gathered what was left of his strength and began to talk... "my... my son!!! Chicken, I AM YOUR FATHER!!!"
KFC got pissed and picked up the frier. With a touch of the button, he fried his own daddy. The passing of the grand general sparked off a wave of anti-chicken movements by the oppressed worms of cockadoodledoo. What started off as dissent soon gathered momentum and turned into an uncontrollable rebel movement.. a civil war ensued between the chickens and worms. Obviously the worms lost. Some ingenious worms however, developed a potion which gave them incorrosible skin. They let the chickens eat them, and inside the stomachs of these chickens they carried out guerrila warfare (hence forming the background to Team17's sensational hit Worms: Armageddon). Soon all the flying chickens on cockadoodledoo was dead.
KFC was able to escape the wormage invasions by refusing to eat worms. Instead, he fried chicken with the frier and ate his own kin (hence gaining the dreadful bird flu since most of the flying chickens were infected)... eventually his mission having been a success he flew back to earth.
The few years he had been at cockadoodledoo translated into milleniums... the chickens on earth were enslaved by a new race which appeared from the caves: men. Men developed advanced friers and created pens for all the chickens. Men imprisoned millions of hensfolk in huge automations which existed for the solitary purpose of collecting eggs. Men fried chicken at an alarming rate. And some ill-fated chickens were boiled alive.
Seeing all these, KFC was heartbroken.. he was the only chicken who could fly, and with his abilities he could have fought the humans and scared them off his species. but he was too, too late... Angry, he attacked a farmer who kept thousands of his kin imprisoned in pens.
Obviously the farmer speared him. that was the end of KFC as we knew it...
since the farmer just bought a new frier he decided to test it. hence KFC went into the oil, and voila, it tasted so good with 18 other mixed herb and spices. He formed the world famous Kentucky's Fried Chicken fast food outlet!!!
*disclaimer--- the above excrept is purely fictional and is but a small branch of my avid imagination. The story however is original andprotected by *gasp* the official secrets act. [cue: AJE, them bastards]
