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now that it's come to this, alarm bells in my head are blaring.

I guess that's it. It never occured in that puny brain that I have my self esteem and pride too. That there's only so much jibing I can take. Do you ever see me taking jibes at what other people are most sensitive on? That's because I truly fear offending their deepest, innermost secrets. We all have them, and it's plain FUCKING respect for your friend and your self to not dig up their worst insecurities.

I think I have more "brudders" than true friends. Well, I'd keep it that way. "Brudders" rarely expect anything out of each other but to share fun times together. Well maybe my perception of friendship is warped.

I'm tired of keeping your secrets for you. Tired of listening to your deepest fears whilst at the same time having you point a kitchen knife at my throat. Tired of you claiming to be my friend yet placing a venomous barbed wire around the thing right in front of me. I'm getting really, really tired.

So I shall go back to sleep, despite sleeping for 11 hours already.