fuckfuckfuck

I pretend i am happy or at least, "cool about stuff" on so many numerous occasions that once in a while I forget that I really deserve to be in a rotten mood once in a while. Like just now, the cramped buses, the sleepiness arising from days of lack of sleep, they add up to the fact that I very almost snapped at a middle aged lady (who turned out to be a neighbour) who very inconsiderately decided it was more important for her to make sure she can get off the bus than for my holding on to a handrail while the bus was braking to a halt. Even when it was obvious I am getting off at the same stop.

FUCK YOU YOU BITCH. BURN IN HELL, OR AT LEAST HAVE A DEMONISH NIGHTMARE TONIGHT. FUCK. FUCKK.

Feel totally unhappening because my life just doesn't seem to be going anywhere decent at the moment.

I should take up a religion

I realized I'm relatively godless, so to speak. Not that I don't believe in the existence of god, it's just I believe there is more than one god. It's one of those things we'll never find out unless the gods wills it for us to find out? Being a freethinker has with it its benefits, very often I can remain passive when I am sandwiched between two people arguing about religion. Of course I am by no means atheist. Why am I saying this stuff? Apparently now in NTU you need to 'register your blog' to write about religion. Well, up yours, NTU. I have said and always will repeat that when I graduate, I will not give. Certainly not to the Nanyang Technological University, who have seen it fit to inconvenience students at every turn, applying policies which are contrary to the undergraduates' welfare, and after ten years of operation STILL have not been able to cough up a halfway decent internal shuttle bus system. So no, I will not give.

Giving to WKWSCI however, that's another matter. This here is a school that, despite my run-ins with one too many rogue and unqualified tutors and instructors, will still lie deep in my heart. For every CYAW there is a very friendly and helpful Campbell, for every FALZON there's a passionate and knowledeable Dr D. For every unfriendly Lv3 tech there is Uncle Tan, Yew Li Jie, and Kelvin. So if it comes to the time I am able I will help WKWSCI in any way I can. But no, not NTU. Fuck, not NTU.

returns

Here's a thought - it's not as though I'm NOT going to be having a lot of things to do, so it hardly is the best time to resume making little posts here and there on this little place. Who's going to still be here to notice? That's really the question ain't it?

So many years later, I've physically grown older but I still feel as lost, in the same place as I was 4 years ago - as a person I guess I'm pretty much still emotionally retarded in that sense.

Anyhow, I seem to have my heart set on the iPhone 4 but using the $56 plan, which would be about double my current plan but would be able to bring the cost of the phone itself way down. The only difference would be I have 100 extra minutes of outgoing calls, but I've never been one to call people anyway. Herein lies the slight dilemma.