ta dah

i have concluded

the song is by hide with Pata and Spread Beaver.

yea.

when a flock of pigeons fly past...

watch out, cause they shit together.

Why does all these bad things seem to come at the same time?

I hate Mrs Ong.
I am angry with my parents.

Hate #1: Mrs Ong called home on Tuesday after I told her my mum was overseas. She wanted to speak to my mum so I told her the truth that she won't be back till Saturday. She didn't trust me and called home anyway. Hate #2: She told my dad about my results and "recommended" that I had tuition. Hate #3: The next day she didn't even bother to hear my explanation for not doing her revision worksheets and JCT corrections. The reason was I was trying so hard to prepare her tutorial for her lesson.

Now to my parents. Obviously they don't know me at all. To the point that if I run away from home, they would only be able to call my long lost primary school friends. Obviously they'll slam the phone on her. She doesn't even have an idea who my close friends are or what's bothering me. No-one in my family does anyways. So the first things my dad did once my mum came home was to tell her about the phone call. And she came in to clarify my results. Damn fuck. And again asked me to have tuition.

Chee bai. I WILL NOT GO FOR TUITION! All the worst things in this world are done with the best intentions, and I really don't give a fuck what those intentions are. Asking me to go for tuition is VERY HURTFUL. I don't want to have the tuition teacher claiming my credit, what the fuck I'm not even struggling to grasp the subjects, just ask anyone. There are many other factors to failing June Common Test that badly other than not knowing what was tested. I can forgive Mrs Ong cause she probably doesn't know about it. Mr Seng does, Mr Loh does, Ms Joy Tan does and I think Mr Woo does. SO they don't ask me why I failed JCT ever again since then. And my parents don't exactly care the reasons cause the bottom line is I FAILED! Hence I need desperate help and they are raising all the big hoo-haa in the world in case I don't go to uni.

It's INSULTING me if you ask me to go for tuition. Maybe its worthless man's pride or what, I'd rather give up than be forced to seek help. When I need it i'll look for help, but that's none of your business cause I won't look for you.

Bad month it has been.. or bad two months. Bad stuff happening and they all just come at once.

burst of inspiration

I've been wondering why i posted the previous two posts. Too personal? Maybe. Probably just to make myself feel better.

Know why Anakin turned to the dark side? Cause the dark side was powerful. Yea I got a sudden burst of inspritation by drawing on my "dark side". Been having sudden bursts recently just keep forgetting to record them.

But I have this big big inspiration.

In a few years when everything has long gone to become mere memories I shall personally direct a drama series with my own personal life story. I'll be the protagonist, you'll be the evil one. It's gonna be a smashing storyline with love triangles, betrayals and yea, of course, hate, since that's such an easy source of inspiration. Maybe not that much, cause at the end of the day you'll be reflected as the bad evil woman who comes to no good and I'm the one who achieves enlightenment and a fairy tale ending. I'll pack it in with the heavy metal music and powerful rock music. Sentimental scenes with my true one will have emo soundtracks with rock ballads I thought of. And I'm gonna put rock stars in as actors, with cut-scene MTVs like they do it in Bollywood.

Man I can't help thinking I'm a genius.

It's so gonna rawk, and I'll become a cult hero.

Hah.

That's decided then, my hate shall be my drive for the time being. Until I find someone who's real and true, I shall love everyone equally, try not to discriminate and hate you and only you. I feel so evil but more powerful. Maybe I'm really turning into the dark side lol.

just to LOVE and FAKE

was attempting to listen to some of my lesser-heard mp3s just now.. found this song, its damn nice.!!! but the problem is, its not exactly by x japan since its not toshi's voice. Whatever limited info i could find its by hide and yoshiki, but other sources say its pata's work. It even appeared on pata's 3rd album. So i suppose its pata, but the voice sounds hide. And it doesnt sound like something yoshiki will compose. hmm... so what is it exactly?

info on this song is SO limited u can't even find lyrics for it. wow. yeap yeap, its a damn nice song though... sad it wasnt publicised haha.

On an MP3 downloading rampage.. so many rock albums in one day. hmm... as usual find it hard to concentrate on a saturday.. esp since so tired from the previous week.

yesterday 22nd SC officially ended. What do I say.. really wasn't looking forward to it but wasn't too sad that it came either.. like to me SC became kind of draggy after idol.. like its just some "duty" i'm obligated to. I mean my life in sc has been enriching no doubt but looking back i was more sad than happy during my time there. Guess such things sting so bad they tarnish memories which deserve our recognition...

anw, people were complaining to me abt how little they had to write for the writeup... hmm.. i filled up all available boxes except initiative.. and all busted the word limit. Guess thats the good part about being in SC haha. And yea, when i received the nice glass frame from the teachers which had the logos of our key events there.. wells. The events were ab camp orientation mickey mouse farewell AJ idol and livewire ... I was in adhoc for orientation and AJ idol, and GI in AB Camp and for livewire helped them with a few productions including the idol one. Bad memories there... but nvm. In fact, its not the 22nd SC production team, its really a one-man show--> me. so the productions with that inside are made by me. yea. And the artwork and design for orientation, ab camp, idol were all my work too. Hmm... did many stuffs i guess.. learned alot, as the rest did. But i guess at the end of the day i'm someone who hates to be restricted by the demands and expectations as others.

very glad that i wun have to wear the badge anymore, monday will feel much lighter, spring in the step and so on.. anyways.. people have been so occupied with As that they lose track of what life actually is. I'm barely keeping track of what was supposed to be my life. If i were in Indonesia i'd probably be in uni and working now, not studying for some weird complex number test. And probably in a few years time i'd be having my own business and getting married and settling down in my peaceful hometown (indonesia is peaceful ok. the press just got nothing to write).

Do i regret coming here? Part of me says yes.. I mean ive been unhappy most times im here, to tell the truth. But can i regret? It's not my regret to make, I was here since I was so young I wasn't the one who made the decision. So do i blame my parents? I mean yea. Sometimes I do, they see things so easily like black is black and is different from white anything that is black cannot be white etc.

So to them stress comes only from failing a test. Failing tests is only a result of not studying and playing all day. Dyed hair means you're a hooligan. Coming home late means you're fooling around outside. Working long hours on something which they don't see as beneficial is a bloody waste of time. I mean.. If you want me to live the life you led, why the fuck bring me here in the first place? It's my bloody life ok. I really regret coming to JC, if i had a choice i would happily go poly. Again, it's not really my decision. My parents raised damned hoo-haa when i chose to come to AJ. Then, engaging in a relationship is taboo until you're 21 or have them matchmake you. Heck, i even suspect they intend to do that all along. I got this niggling suspicion that they fucking have my life planned out in front for me. Figures why i like rock music, and heavy metal and etc. I want to break away from the normal. I'm now a rebel! Yea. That sounds really great. I wanna be in a rock band, then I can get punched on stage without anyone caring. Then I can take 1000 dollar guitar and smash it on the floor without feeling anything. Then I can blast all that music i want without any other fucker complaining. I can do any fucking thing in the world and the world just shakes their head in disapproval and parents ban their kids from listening to me. whee what a life. seems so appealing compared to the slime im stuck in

like wad happened in sec 3 and 4. I was oblivious why that group of people hated me so much, ostracised me and so on.. until well i learnt about nationalism this year (dun laugh, got relevance one) there's really nothing wrong with me, I'm just something they're not. And identity can come from being aware that they as a group are NOT something that I am. So to make themselves feel better they gang up and ostracise me to feel better among themselves. Right. So can i blame them? No, i can't, cause admittedly i do that sometimes too. Now that i think about it i become very guilty.

So what's the difference between adolescence and adulthood? Is it a mere age number? those who act like they're mature already will say its the ability to have your own viewpoint. A child's viewpoint is still his own. Or is adulthood being able to see past the superficial differences and embrace people, embrace life the best way it should be? Without restrictions or bias of any sort.

But that means every other individual in this world is still stuck in adolescence, isn't it? I mean if my parents are such racists, my sisters are such racists, every fucking person is racist to some extent. Every other person have their own definition of undesirables, don't they? We preach compassion but when we see someone begging on the streets who actually even sympathises with them? Who would dump their own consciousness of remaining a "reputable" person to hug the poor man and give him food and shelter?

So to explain for this the so-called "adults" give a theory of not feeding the man but telling the man how to look for food. And viola, "adults" feel much better with their conscience.

Why am I rambling about all this? After all, I'm like all of them, still in adolescence ain't i? Like them, I do have feelings of disdain towards some certain others don't I? That's what I'm talking about, I'm falling towards my own definitions of a kid. Maybe I'm asking too much of the human race. It's already great enough an achievement that we're probably the most adaptible creatures and thinking ones, but to get all of them to think on the same pattern, that would negate all our positives and make us lesser than the stray dog, isn't it? Thats when our actions and thoughts will become so predictable, when people don't draw relations between what you do and other things which get implicated by what you do.

sorry if this post is disorganised, that's the real condition of my thoughts now. Just pasting everything that appears on this brain of mine.

so council has ended, and I keep hearing people feeling sad over its end. I, too feel some degree of melancholy, seeing them still so enthusiastic and bustling with optimism, that's what I was this time last year. I feel melancholic that in time, some of them will feel the way i do. I think about it, and conclude somewhere in this world, there is another exact clone of me, who is facing such a difficult battle in life at such a young age. I feel melancholic about the friendships forged and broken, and amaze at how we are so affected by what others do.

Like for example, during a simple test, some people are so blinded by their goals that they ignore others' pleas for help. I asked person in front of me for some full-scape paper and got ignored. Is it me, or do people simply don't care?

by the way, i realise i'm so savvy with media and the web in general that stupid passwords really don;t work on me anymore. sorry, i'm only human i'm curious too. Curious about what otehrs think of me. I mean, how long do you intend to keep it from me? I'd hate you much more than I do now if I had to sign in and see your face next to his, see him kissing you, etc. You think I won't hate you then? I don't hate you as much for ditching me or anything, I hate you so much more for the manner in which you did it. Friendship, eh? Farmhood, eh? What kind of shit do you talk about if all you do is assume everyone else in the world lives for you? I'm not that much of an idot, i dun look like it but i track every single piece of traffic that comes here. So i know you'll read this and i dun pretty much care what you're gonna do or think. I just want to get it off my chest, these words of hate and thoughts of despair. Those cloud my mind, and it affects the way i see my life. Those affect my perceptions of things. So many things around me bear hurtful memories of what you'd done. What we'd done. And what we could have done. But every and each of those fucking things also remind me how i was kept in cold storage for the better of half a year while you pursue your own agenda. Of how you can be the meanest and unfeeling creature in the world. How i was deceived into thinking dreams do come true.

Get this.

if they come true they're not dreams.

too bad for me, then, too bad for me. I'm now reduced to being someone who laments and moans about the past. I'm sorry, i tried to hide all this, but the more i do the more i find myself in misery. Guys need to appear strong, thats the stereotype, much more if you're 1.8m and bulky. Best friend, sorry if it seems i wasn't paying much attention to the convo.. there were some nerves you touched which really disturbed me. So what's the next best ting if i can't cry? BLAST OTHERS ABOUT IT, WHAT ELSE?

the sooner i get it off my chest the sooner i can finally get on with life.

anyways, my mum is due back in SG today and she messaged me just now. How sweet haha. Asked me which country's jacket i want. well i have lotsa jackets already so i just said italy. Or was it argentina? Not sure i got very poor short term memory (contradictory since I sometimes think i got good memory). But i really dun nid a jacket. If there's someting i want, its this:



hide-model MG75C
Price (approx): SGD 1200 (excl shipping)





its one DAMN FUCKING BEAUTY of a guitar!!!! dun u agree? wow... really want smth like this. But realistically, my target is a fernandes revolver pro, which is cheaper (about SGD 900 and can buy locally) and is much better than this white one. uglier though, but it has double humbuckler and sustainer, an effect which would be damn kewl. Which doesnt classify it as a starter guitar but i dun really care. I'm new to electric but not that new to classical, and surely i'd learn it in a bit, after As.

got an offer from apek. thanks, that's really a compliment, but i'd hate to disappoint, so we shall wait and see.

fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to suffering. Man.. how true.

I am at that stage of my life, where I just need to have ONE thing going for me to bounce back again... It just feels horrid... everything that can go wrong is going wrong...

Like I'm in APTS for the first time ever. And every single teacher is treating me as though I have some kind of disease. Weak student, they say. Trying to help, they say. Like I don't know the worst things in this world are done with the best intentions. Like it helps, nearly a month after I have already tried to stand up and recover teachers call me up telling me that I'm in a horrible predicament. Calling my parents telling them I am in a predicament. Continuously telling me I'm in a mess. Right, thanks. I SO NEEDED PEOPLE TO TELL ME THAT.

Like commending my "efforts" on a GP essay well done and then rubbing it in *so* blatantly that my name is horrificly mis-spelt. Jibe on my injured toe, do you? Fucking asshole. And saying in class that "you don't have to agree with the marks given if you think it's bad". I really don't know what's your problem with me?

I'm losing every single bit of the confidence I once had... I feel lethargic all over... I fear speaking up, starting conversations because I cannot continue them halfway through... I speak with fear in my voice, fear that the one I speak to might stab me in the back... Fear that they are sniggering at my demise behind those fake smiles... Fear that they are talking bad about me behind my back... Fear that I won't recover in time for prelims... Fear that people hate me, loathe me... Fear that every single fucking thing I do is pissing someone off...

And like I said, nothing is going well. Results is one thing. Operation Revolver Pro is at a standstill. I am totally and without a doubt unfit. I can't focus at all... All those stupid thoughts flooding through my head. I'm deluding myself, looking at other people and thinking about strange things. Longing... And somehow I feel people are taking more and more jibes at me. Without even trying to veil their words tipped with venom. I think teachers pick on me... Like it's the new hobby for everyone, to step on me and look down on me in my current pathetic self.

And I still have people who like to remind me of that bitch, that teletubby. Even the teletubby. Miscalculation early in the morning today totally ruined my mood. I DON'T want to see her ever again, much less be associated with her. Rub it in, rub it in some more will ya? At the rate I'd listen to hateful and vengeful tirades blasting over my headphones I'd believe it if I shoved you into a wall and stuck a knife right into your fucking chest.

Tell me... what did I do wrong? Why does every other person, every other force, every other event seem to transpire to make things worse for me? What in the fuck happened to the me I once knew...

I know I used to be very harsh, insensitive, irresponsible, vulgar, temperamental. But I've been trying to change for the better... Trying very hard. Trying to cool off lest I start screaming at others. Try to do my best for everything.

But fate has dealt me a bad hand...
In a deck of 52 cards... how many more cards can I afford to deal before it finally ends for me?
I'm looking for Kings, Queens, and Aces. I want to have the feeling that I am the king of the world, again. I want to have a Queen by my side. I want to ace everything I want to do.

47 days to prelims... I remain cautiously optimistic that I will grow inhuman and harden my heart into a soul of frozen ice. So that I can concentrate on what I should be doing. Or what others want me to be doing. I remain cautiously confident that I will be able to bounce back, results wise.

But there's a trade off, there always is. I don't wanna turn into a machine... please.... I don't want to be unfeeling, I don't want to sacrifice my beliefs for my aims... I don't want anyone to hate me... I don't want to be the topic everyone bitches about for the fun of it , over lunch dinner or as a conversational topic...

I don't want to be abandoned again...

Sometimes, I wish things would go better for me... Just simple things...
Like my parents finally getting into the same wavelength as me in simple conversations over the meal.

Like being able to pass through a lesson in class without my mind meandering to stupid ideas and notions.

Like having you glance at me more often... a nice warm smile would go a long way...

Like not having people take jibes at me for once...

It's all right... I'll be fine really... I can just turn into a reclusive hermit... then nothing in this world would matter to me anymore, and I can finally achieve a dull but peaceful peace with myself...

But if I had a choice....

boo.

that's what music should be about. lol

can't help but be impressed.. thats the closest to a rock band orchestra as you can have.. lol. If u find the song familiar, its anarchy in the uk by sex-pistols, which extasy tried performing at AJ idol finals haha.

a lil bit of history

u knoe, they say many great men always get killed by beautiful ladies who surround them. I forgot examples but sure thing one, girls get guys killed.

Hmm. That figures, I'm losing trust in beautiful ladies. Hah. Cause their faces distract us from the evils they commit. Once, bitten twice shy i'd guess.

Lol.

I really get turned off by the way some people act all elitist on me and start talking to me about racist ideas and their elitist utopias. Right, some people really just pretend that they are better than others by harping on other's mistakes and bad points so others wun notice theirs. It's so darn obvious.

Figures im losing trust in beautiful ladies.

Hmm.. What about handsome faces? Lol.

No worries, I'm straight 100%.

i wish they can stop rubbing it in

hmm. its been like almost 3 weeks since CT? and yup, i woke up the moment i took the paper. And 3 weeks on, they're still scolding us and making us feel guilty about the CT results. And for once, I am in APTS. Sigh, not surprising since in theory i never passed a single subject. But they make me look weaker than i really am lah. Serious.

Anw, realised some of the extra lessons arranged by the sch are not useful at all.. like GP, what a waste of time. Econs was not bad...

And today my toe bandage came off 3 times. Wow. Im one unlucky dood today. Did a few concept maps, realised im doin it for the wrong topics. like DD and SS, i mean every econs student by now would have memorised them, but i went to write concept map hai.. going to revise some more econs today and finish the MCQ tmr...

in times of despair, who's your pillar of support?

mine was made of glass. Guess it broke halfway thru, and at a bad timing.

Hmm. My mid years ARE very bad... like for all subs im only below 20 percentile. Gasp. Right, means most of the tutors are gonna want to see my parents, who dunch even know i have such a thing as mid years. Sigh. Except for GP, which looks like a printing error on the result slip, 99.5 percentile. Lol. Feel quite guilty. To tell the truth the day before i was watching World Cup and I have never studied for GP ever. But yeahs...

The world cup is one of the most convenient excuses to point to.

Hmm.. consultation with Mr Seng, basically we got a rollicking for sacrificing our grades for the world cup, and Mr seng said he can't figure out wad to do with me cause this result was WAY off my usual standard. Wells.. used world cup as an excuse.. worked for the rest of the peeps but for me wells. He asked me to stay behind after the rest and asked me if anything was wrong. Ahs wells. I thought it wasn't obvious, but he said, he looked at the rest of my grades, quality of my essay, and how i was responding in class. All bad grades, and my essays got schoolboy errors, can't concentrate in class, stoning during lectures. Oops he noticed lol... and the incident with the council teachers who asked him abt me. Right.

Pretty down.. but he was a nice person to listen to broken sentences. Yups guys ARE not the most emotively expressive of people haha. Some misconceptions about the poor guy la.. he's passionate about teaching us, not about history. Yup... told me he lost interest in history quite a while ago but still find joy in teaching students. and some other stuff. True or not i dunno la. but appreciate someone from being there

Sometimes those whom you expect to be your pillar of support lets you down, but often it is those whom you least expect who gives you the support you desire..

thanks..

yup. Felt lots better after that. Until someone had to remind me of the shit stuff that happened. Right. I dunno why people would derive joy from making a group of people hate another, but what's happening in the council of opinions with respect to me and that -teletubby-, i dun tink hating people would help solve anything. I dun wish for people to hate her or anything thats why i never tell anyone about it. But wells i guess it was darn friggin obvious.

Quite long already, more or less that phase of my life is over. Another glorious six months wasted. Right. Working hard to recover my touch and a little extra.

say.. those eyes still have the same effect on me... sorry -_-" i just wanted a glimpse.

one side of what happened

marco and zid were in a soccer match, a high-profile one, more specifically, the FIFA world cup finals watched by a few billion people. The game is exciting, but ends in a 1-1 draw and into extra time. Sometime into extra time... Marco and Zid challenge for a ball. Neither gets it, everyone turns their attention to the ball which is booted to the other end of the field.


Version #1: Official Marco account
-Zid has his shirt pulled by Marco, who doesn't intend to let Zid touch the ball-

Zid (turning around): Hey relax Marco, I'll swap shirts with you later.

Marco: Nah, I'd rather take the shirt off your wife.

Zid: What'd you say?

Marco: I said I'd sooner take a shirt off your wife in front of your kids rather than take one off you.

Zid: Fuck you man, I'm gonna get you for it.

Marco: Yea, sure I'd be waiting for it.

---And we know the rest of the story, Zid turns around, plants a header at Marco's chest and is shown the red card---


Version #2: You #%!!$@ Terrorist, play for Algeria instead
-Zid has his shirt pulled by Marco, who doesn't intend to let Zid touch the ball-

Zid: Hey relax man, why're you so violent?

Marco: Me, violent? Migosh. Mamamia. Look who's speaking.

Zid: I'm a peaceful guy. My bald head is proof of my former monkhood. See? (puts hand on head to show Marco how shiny it is)

Marco: Whatever. Hey, I am not a cultured person, but I know them terrorists come from Algeria.

Zid: What? Stop playing with the Mafia and read the news, Marco.

Marco: Yea, maybe. Maybe you should be playing for your REAL country instead, terrorist.

Zid: Right. Stuff your damn nostrils with pasta.

Marco: Shut up, your wife's a whore. Your mum too.

---And we know the rest of the story, Zid turns around, plants a header at Marco's chest and is shown the red card---

Version #3: Zidane bowing out spectacularly
-Zid has his shirt pulled by Marco, who doesn't intend to let Zid touch the ball-

Zid: Man, I can't believe I won't be playing another match again after this...

Marco: Yea, I feel sad you're going man. I mean, you already scored a goal, why not make your exit more spectacular by scoring another or creating one? If you can get past me that is.

Zid: Nah, penalties are fun. I wanna beat my old friend Gigi from 18 yards again. Heh.

Marco: Haha. You're a pretty mean freak. Well I sure hope to see you bow out on a high note.

Zid: Yea, me too. Wanna help?

Marco: Sure, what should I do?

---And we know the rest of the story, Zid turns around, plants a header at Marco's chest and is shown the red card---

geezzz... life's been rough on this lad.

sigh... felt quite shitty today. I mean i expected to flunk maths, but history was a real surprise... guess the out of point essay really made me pay alot. It's the lowest for history i ever got, and to say the least its demoralising... Mr Seng was like, very bad arh, you better buck up. Yea i know... starting today... must study hard..

reminds me of my sec 3 year where that stupid teletubby made me look like a fool in front of the whole class, but after that i made her eat her words by topping the cohort from then on till the O levels. Can there be a repeat? i hope so... but the content of J2 is sure damn tough, lots and lots and lots of content, now i need to rest first... doing anything now wun help as well, cos i feel really teruk. sigh.

after some rest, respite, it's back to error analysis, then hard work.. i hope econs is much better.. but anw yah down to doing the dirty work...

anw passed by PS to get another set of new strings after i stupidly cut off the acoustic strings of my lao pok guitar. for a d'addario i was quite surprised its only 6.50, and sounds great. And restringing was such a breeze with apek's er.. RED thing. dunno wad its called. Anw im more or less getting apek's ex-amp, which he's willing to sell me for a hundred bucks. Yeps. That is unless someone gives him a better offer, but hope he leaves it for me... after all, THE guitar i want is about 500 bucks too far.

yeap. it's the red one.. after setting apart money for the amp, its like 5oo bucks. geez. the fernandes vertigo x. heh. nicely colored. Wait there, my darling~~

artistic

at least thats what the er... whats that thing called... model? im nt sure. Yup the career thing. That's what it says i am. Hmm.. maybe it's right. Haha. This education is suppressing my creativity, cos i feel discouraged by the others who seem to be doing better in secular subjects... hmm. ok Maybe its just cause i dun study often for such subjects. But i pretty much know what i'll go for in future.

Plan #1:
Go work in the entertainment industry. I mean as a background guy, like film director or thereabouts. Or journalism is fun too. Either way my path is NTU mass comm... which coincidentally doesnt take many people. Hmm.. Apart from grades apparently there's an interview, so i hope i can make it in there.

Plan #2:
Study Business Admin. I mean whatever industry u wanna be in, this sure helps... Hmm my key interest would be tourism, like hotel management or likewise. Otherwise set up a business in SG, or work for some companies, et cetera.

Plan #3:
Form a band, release demo tapes, make it big, and then make music for the fun of it. Yea.

Heh. Plan #3 is fun, haha.

Anw, in case you're living in lala-land you'd have heard about the match fixing scandal in Italy. Not surprising i mean the Italians have shit moral values even though they go to confession (no disrespect to any religion) like they have the mafia and all. Why surprised about cheating by old men who run the club? I mean look at Totti, he's the world's best diver and second best actor next to Rivaldo (Try beating this: get kicked in the leg, fall on the floor, crutch ur face like someone elbowed you, then realise after 20 seconds that it wasn't the face and you get up to tend to your oh-so-painful legs). Cristiano Ronaldo dives, Rivaldo dives, Figo dives, Pires dives, but they get caught. Totti doesn't. See? And that reminds me, France better win tonight or there'd be a cheater's dream final: to determine who are the champions of the world AND who's better at simulation. Notoriety.

Ok back to the scandal. Not sure about the details but Juventus appear to be affected worst. After Luciano Moggi ganna for his role Pessotto (once a good player, now the GM of Juve) jumped off his office window and the manager Fabio Capello left the club for another team. And now the lawmakers say Juve shall be punished by *gasp* relegation to Serie-notB but C!!! That's like... er... one or two levels above S-League? My GOD! and people like Thuram has pledged to stay with the club, so assuming that many players are loyal Juve will bounce back straight up. Heck, they can sell their entire first team of Buffon Zambrotta Cannavaro Thuram Zebina Vieira Emerson Nedved Camoranesi Del Piero and Ibravimovich and still trash everyone in Serie C. So bouncing back is not a question. Means next season Champ's league is gonna be a bore. Rangers and Celtic will definitely be in, Arsenal have an easier path in, and the likes of Artmedia and Genk will be in as well. Inter Milan will win the Scudetto for the first time in a gazillion years and Udinese will play in the Champs league. Yuk.

Yep i hate cheaters.

Anw, today's career fair was alright... the job profiling (dunno wadtheheckthatis) was useful, i thought, cos it confirmed more or less what i wanna work as when i grow up. The Brightsparks thing also quite useful, and so were the STB talk and finance talk. STB in the sense that it made me consider tourism as a possible advancement (with business admin as priority of course) and me crossing out finance off my possibilities. Though i was quite put off by a majority of people in the audi who switched off TOTALLY. And worse still people who made lotsa noise. I mean u gotta respect these speakers, 15 years of experience dun come easy. Like i'm sure they weren't PAID to come and talk? Ah wells.

Hmm. Mr Woo called about project 145. And i told him i wun work on it, that's final. Sad that my council term gotta end this way, but let it end this way while my memories of it are still positive (except for a certain person). Apart from that, i'm sorry guys. It's been great. Just that it could have been better. Havent stepped in the council room other than to take my stuff from locker. Sigh, the place used to be like a second home to me, but now it gives me the creeps and bad memories.

hide!!!

haha. Just felt like changing songs and the pic of this place... not bad arh... i think hide's guitars are damn kewl, mostly fernandes although his first was a gibson. which is why i wanna get a fernandes, but i suppose they're mostly out of my price range :( like six digit numbers of yen, translates to about over $1000! jeez... i think its pretty chio though.. fernandes guitars. haha

was at ben's house two days ago, din sleep at all haha.. argentina germany was great, but italy's one was so... err... ok i din really enjoy it... anw went with him to swee lee to get his fender stratocaster (they having 50% storewide off) but by the time we got there the queue was already damn friggin long... so i left cos i din want to queue, and he stayed. End up he left sometime after i did cos the queue wasnt moving, haha...

england deserved to go out! indeed. And rooney's red card was hilarious. Apparently ref would've been more lenient but cristiano ronaldo appeal to get rooney sent off and rooney shoved him (they're teammates at man yoo). Then he winked towards the portugese bench after rooney was sent off... haha. Kewl dude. Asshole but kewl nonetheless. I think that means Rooney and Ronaldo will have a feud in Man yoo. in addition to ronaldo's feud with nistelrooy, which fergie sided with ronaldo, this feud will see fergie side either roo-naldo or ronaldo. Either way, two of those three should be on their way out of Old Trafford.

Double celebrations, just heard Man U's owner is damn anal in releasing funds.

Triple celebration France beat Brazil to get to semis where they will confirm chop chop send portugal home. Sorry arhs, notice properly france defence and offence is solid, and its prolly zidane's last two matches so his thru balls will be damn leet. Yups. I'd believe it'll be a germany-france final.. which germany will win cos they deserve a star on their shirt (world cup winners get a star sewn on their shirts for every cup the country won)

and that's my analysis for this world cup. Haha.. felt so tempted to bet a draw for the england portugal match, if i had plonked my fifty on it, i would be THAT much closer to a fernandes mockingbird. Bshhh.