Suddenly I'm like quite hardworking. Hardworking = taking time out to study out of my mandatory rest days - went with Pear to 'mug' on Friday, more like to catch up on the accounting stuffs I missed cause I couldn't take the subject in time, and today went with Melv to just err.. do some readings. Both days I brought laptop, and half the time I was playing FM.

But wells, the first issue of TIME arrived like yesterday, and I've finished reading the whole issue like today. *claps* So I guess it's not that wasted after all, haha.

A bit more about our stuff today - went to Orchid Country Club to "recee" the venue. To be honest I didn't know anything about what was going on, I'm just the guitarist. So when he said "wear formal" it didn't quite make sense because wasn't he the person hiring the services of the country club and not the other way round? Anyway me and the drummer ended up stoning, playing the classical guitar while they discussed "business". And the smoke really kills me. Anyway, it's a pretty cool place to have like our first official paid gig, haha. Like a very long and wide ballroom, with the stage going to be extended into 3 prongs - much like the X Japan stage? 1 guitarist (me) hogging one and the other probably sharing the other with the bassist. Pretty cool, though it means I'd have to invest in a wireless system sooner rather than later. And so I suppose I'm quite looking forward to jamming again and then to the gig, which is like in November.

School has been getting better I guess, after a while of getting used to the pace. It's not exactly breakneck, but it's not leisurely either... and not staying in hall really pisses me off at times because I have to wait like long periods in others' rooms, sometimes alone. That really sucks, plus the daily tussle for buses during rush hour, and never being able to get seats on the train ride to Boon Lay. Of course my parents still say "don't worry, just get used to it" but they don't take the train at rush hour to Boon Lay and back everyday do they? And I recently discovered my dear sisters who "coped well enough" actually could do so cause they cabbed to school like nearly EVERYDAY? And not staying in hall makes me feel distant from my friends - when I go back home I go back to this empty shell of a room, so transparent and reclusive at the same time. Its like, whatever I do inside you can hear outside, but there's nobody outside cause everyone just does what they want/need/feel like doing. The stupid furniture is really getting on my nerves, my stuff gets missing, fucking ants crawl everywhere where I put my coffee/food/fruits... Friggin reference books are like finding their own permanent corner in my little cubicle. My multi FX and pedals are like eating batteries as though they were MacFries... I don't want to sound like a spoilt bastard - which on reflection I am not. But I have nothing to look forward to when I'm home - other than my guitars and some computer games.

This week has been quite 'happening' in the wrong sense... In a way I feel that what she's doing is wrong - I mean she should have known right from the start that this would happen some day, I did in fact remember telling her. In a way I guess I feel bad for everyone, because they are like causing each other undue misery by all refusing to change their viewpoints. In a way I hate this situation cause I'm caught in the quandary. What do you do when you are expected to be non-neutral?

Thanks to everyone who wished me well, Thanks Ben, Edwin and Eden for the Kbox and the pool session! (Yeah who say 4 guys can't Kbox lol) Thanks krist (miss terror!) Xuemin and Nabing for the sandals! =D) Thanks Jin for your guitar cleaning cloth! (Yeap though we are quite different I must admit you are darn nice guy!) Thanks Fly and Melv for the earphones! (It's still unopened but hell, it looks good =D) Thanks everyone else for the cake. My parents gave me an ang-pow but I really don't blame them for not doing anything more considering what happened. And thanks to everyone else who forgotten but will wish me after reading this post. Yeap, I suppose August is usually the time period when I'd feel a lot better about who I am.

Though this year is an exception... We totally like forgot to eat the cake (me and another OG mate share the same birthday so we were supposed to share the cake but it's still in Melv's fridge) and I only ate the small cake my mum got me like today morning. And the fact that some machine malfunction made POSB block my ATM card for three days didn't exactly help. Some very weird thoughts crossed my mind, and I find myself doing what I used to do - wasting my time in wait for the dumbest things. On one hand I tell myself friendship is the most important thing. On one hand... oh well.

The situation doesn't look like it's ever going to be solved, is it? I just want to like step out check into some resort and sleep. Like be a reclusive loner for a while and forget everything that is unhappy about this month. But my bank balance is too unhealthy for that, so *dang*. Maybe I'll do what I did last year - buy myself a new guitar. Last year was that cheapo acoustic Ovation imitation, maybe next month I'll get a Fernandes Strat =D. Deciding between a Fernandes Strat - to carry around and bang around and not feel too sad since it's only $300 and very solid - or a new amp, like an Ibanez or a Marshall mini stack. Somehow I am happiest when I buy myself presents!

I'm really still 19, makes me one of the youngest around. In fact in most of my social circles I am the youngest indeed... But I feel quite old already, and quite weary at times...

Ok a long time ago I decided this should be a *happy* blog so I shall stop where I am now.

And gosh, Kasper Schmeichel is pretty rigged... And the hottest thing in Manchester is light blue.